Just wanted to share. . .

On my long walk up the hill today, it started to rain. My bag was insanely heavy, since I went grocery shopping (you have to buy grocery bags or bring your own - so nearly everyone brings their own) and my feet had sprouted two new blisters from the walk this morning. But I couldn't stop smiling because I walked past an area where it smelled like manure (bear with me - I know this is sounding really bizarre), and I suddenly wanted to go horseback riding. Now, I hate horses. I'm actually a bit frightened of them, and I haven't gone riding since I was in the 7th grade. I don't like their teeth and I don't like sitting up so high and I have terrible, horrible memories of 3rd grade birthday parties where all the girls wanted to be cowgirls and all I wanted was to get the heck off the horse. But all of a sudden, I had this desperate urge to go riding, to try it again.

I wasn't afraid of it anymore. Or of anything I could think of. . .

In the past year, I have:
*Moved 2000 miles away from the person I love most, to a town where I knew no one, and this wasn't the first time I'd taken that risk.
*Done introductions for people far more famous than I will ever be in front of hundreds of people including those people I know to be my harshest critics and my best friends.
*Attempted to speak a language I'd never heard spoken until 2 weeks ago
*Tamed a Marten - well, not yet, but I'm going to
*Not quit
*Went canoeing and fell in
*"Fixed" my car
*Been so sad I didn't think I'd make it through another night
*Been so happy I couldn't think straight

And I realize this sounds all so sacharine and that these things mean so little in the light of all of the amazing things that so many of the people I know do on a regular basis, but I've always been so afraid of everything, and today, for the first time in a very long time, I was not afraid and wanted to do something absolutely ridiculous, even if I looked like a complete idiot. So, I didn't get to ride a horse, because let's face it, I live on the side of a mountain and I don't even know where the manure smell is coming from, but I felt like I could. And that's a big deal.